....friends???
still wondering what does a friend means?
well...there's a lot of definition of friend.And as for me, i would say a friend is someone who is care to know and care to care about us n no matter what happen, we'll neva be forgotten.
talking about friends...I do have lots of friends which this might include close and and not that close type of friends. Well...I am really sure that most of us would consider close friend as a best person to share problems and feelings about certain things. so indeed, it is true that a friend is a person who can lend a shoulder for us to cry on..sorry if my definition or description of friends does not satisfy you guys.. perhaps this lead to my own misconception of "FRIEND".
Basically as 'me'..I really enjoyed making friends, especially before I get married. Before I become somebody's wife, there's not many people wants to stay close with me as my friends. they mostly prefer to be known as colleagues than ' sahabat '. This is what I notice laa..huhu
The first week being married I spent most of my time with my hubby and my family together with his family. but then I forgot that at that time I am leaving my best buddy who is also my roomate. Being carried away with the commitment of a drastic status changing( from cute lil girl into a responsible young wife) I accidentally ignored my friend's feeling. Soon after that I noticed the changes in our friendship, well, there is no more enjoyment freshment of air surrounds my room at that time. I finally realize that i really misss her. Sometimes I thought that I need her more than I need my hubby. But I didn't notice that the air has been contaminated by me, myself, NURUL IZZAH RUSHADI...ooo my goodness..what a friend am I!!!
i still remember the day that I received a msg that suddenly ring a bell that I have hurt her feelings. the msgs tells me how much she misses her friend who is actually 'me'. I felt so down...feel like argh(still cant find a suitable word to describe that feeling)....then she moved out...
I have a larger spaces for my own...but loneliness and guilty surrounds me endlessly...making it more crowded till I can't breath properly...just cant get myself adapted to the new air...
since then i became my husband's close friend. He became my faithful listener yet I couldnt fill in the emptyness inside me..
I never give up to make things better between us, although we are not as close as before but she do care for me. She always comfort me and helps me with my timetable( i have time management problem since I became a Wife). Although she doesn't show her real feelings but i can feel it. i have the feeling that we're both not happy and she is pretending like everything is soooo fine. till one day, both of us decided to let it all out and cry badly like we're babies. So by then, both of us know the reasons and factors causing the contaminated air. After that we're fine as friend but not as a very very good close buddy like we're before...
I realized that since I am married, there's a lot of changes that I've been through. losing best friends is one of the toughest... Although it never crosses my mind to neglect anybody, but then it still happen. well my friends always said that I'm not like before who used to have plenty of time to be spent together with them.. like my friend said " kasih sayang suami mampu mengatasi segalanya"....... but it is not like they always thought....marriage needs lots of commitment
At least I am lucky, I didn't lose her and the rest. It is better to remain this way instead of losing someone who I really really care...thanks a lot for my dearest friends who are willing to be my friends.... i just want them to know that I really appreciate their presence wheneve I need them. ..love you all and may Allah bless you guys...
